Posts Tagged ‘vacation’

Buzzard Vacation – We’re back – where’s the roadkill?

April 15, 2009

Deacon: Usher, so you didn’t tell anyone we were taking 6 weeks off?

Usher:  Nope.  Not my job.   Pastor don’t check in with me when he goes on vacation, he just invites the missionaries in to take my money!

Deacon:  You’re hopeless.  With that kind of attitude, you won’t keep many friends.

Usher: Who needs friends?  Then I’d just have to share the roadkill.

Two Priests Caught With Their Hands in the Church Cookie Jar

August 21, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, there were two priest.  They both live in different states and both of them have gambling habits.  They were both caught with their hand in the church cookie jar!  What do you think the church did to them!

Deacon: Turn them in, defrock them?

Usher: The first one got administrative leave, the second is doing mass while undergoing counseling.  First there was pedophilia, looks like the second plague of the Catholic church is gambling.

Roselle priest placed on administrative leave
St. Walter pastor accused of gambling tens of thousands in church funds
By Russell Working | Chicago Tribune reporter
4:56 PM CDT, July 30, 2008
Church officials have placed a Roselle priest on administrative leave after he allegedly misappropriated $112,000 in church cash to fund a gambling habit, a spokesman said Wednesday.

Catholic Diocese of Joliet Bishop Peter Sartain told worshipers at St. Walter Parish’s weekend masses that an audit of bank records turned up evidence that Rev. John Regan had taken the money, spokesman Doug Delaney said.  Read whole story here


Archdiocese: Pastor Stole Church Money to Gamble          

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. (AP)  — A long-serving pastor of a Catholic parish is under investigation for using church money to feed a gambling habit and has been permanently removed, the chancellor of the Archdiocese of New York said Sunday.The Rev. Patrick Dunne of Our Lady of Sorrows Church in White Plains took a “very significant amount of church money” because of a “very powerful” gambling addiction, Monsignor William Belford told parishioners.Belford told the congregation that he met with Dunne last year after the archdiocese’s finance office told him that undocumented checks were cashed at Our Lady of Sorrow just before Thanksgiving.Dunne, who had been pastor at Our Lady of Sorrows since 1991, left the church right after Christmas. He is undergoing counseling at a rehabilitation center, where he offers Mass daily, Belford said. His home telephone mailbox was full and was not accepting messages on Sunday.  Read whole article here

Deacon & Usher T-Shirts Cont’d

July 29, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, you have fun answerin’ all the emails about the shirts?

Deacon: Not really Usher, you’re not making any friends

Usher: Friends?  Show me a buzzard with more than one friend and I’ll show you a hungry buzzard!

The Three Perpetual States to Church Growth

The Three Perpetual States to Church Growth


Who Should Pay Whom?

Who Should Pay Whom?