Posts Tagged ‘spousal abuse’

How Not to Win Friends and Influence Pastors ;)

August 14, 2008

Usher: Deak, I put together some buzzard questions for my friends…

Deacon: And what are these for?

Usher: They’re the questions you save until you’re really ready to be kicked out of the nest, I mean church…

Pastor, do you tithe, and if so – how much?

Where Pastor, in the word does it say that the pastor is the head of the church?

Why did you go to Harvard to become a shepherd? 

How come you preach on a 4th grade level and refuse to serve anything but milk and cookies?

Tell me why you require membership.  Am I not a member of the kingdom when I accept Christ?

How much of my tithe actually goes towards furthering the kingdom?

Why do we have youth pastors?  Wouldn’t babysitters serve the same purpose?

How is it that every time the church needs money, you ask for it from the laypeople?

What church would you really like to be head of and what’s your career path to get there?

How come all your elders are “Yes men”?

How come you never preach about things like drugs, alcoholism, pornography, poverty in the church, spousal abuse?

How come you drive a brand new car every three years?

How many hours a day do you actually pray for your congregation?

You say that the Bible has all the answers, how come you refer people with “real” problems to “professional” help?

Show me where tithe is substantiated without using an old testament scripture and in context?