Posts Tagged ‘missions’

Deacon & Usher T-Shirts #3

July 30, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, there were some interesting comments on the blog today.  One sweet lady accused us of being “cynical” regarding the mission trip post. 

Deacon: Aren’t you?

Usher: Well, kinda.  But the truth is the truth.  Who’s the trip for anyway? 

The Church Must Go On!

The Church Must Go On!

Who Benefits?

Who Benefits?

 

Church Goer's Anonymous

Church Goer's Anonymous

McChurch – Limited Time Offer!

June 27, 2008

Deacon: Usher, you’re lookin’ a little “peak-ed”

Usher: Yeah, must have been somethin’ I ate

Deacon: Do you remember what it was?

Usher: I think it was the latest sermon served up by the pastor.  He got together with some marketing people to address the homeless thing in the community and then fed it to us.

Deacon: Fed you what?

Usher: Oh, you know – let’s all do something for the homeless this week.  He put together some program so the congregation could go give ’em some food, buy ’em a blanket and hand ’em a tract.

Deacon: And what’s wrong with that?

Usher: Nothin’ I guess, next week is diversity week, following is prison week, then divorce week, short-term missions week, singles week, VBC week……  It’s McChurch Deak, McChurch.. Come and get your limited time offer to minister – then we’ll all go to Starbucks and drink lattes after.

New Denomination: ProChurch

June 9, 2008

Usher: Deak, You hear about the new denomination – ProChurch?

Deacon: What’s that all about?

Usher: This new church in town has done a comprehensive studay & survey and they came up with an amazing conclusion

Deacon: What’s that?

Usher: They discovered that the original reason for all of the denominations (the divine interpretation of the word) is no longer relevant

Deacon: Yeah, and…….

Usher: They found people care more about the programs, in fact, programs were the top priority of the thousands surveyed.  Interpretation of the word was way down on the list, along with missions and discipleship

Deacon: So they’re starting a new denomination based solely on programs?

Usher: Yep, they’re calling it “ProChurch”. Last I heard they had 1000 people sign up for early membership.  They’re giving out free health club memberships for all of the early signers……