Posts Tagged ‘ministry’

This is Where Your Tithe Goes!

August 15, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, check these posts out – they’re for real!  It’s for real.  I promise!

Deacon: Hmmmmm.  And I thought you were just making those T-shirt stats up!  (15% goes to ministry – all else goes into someone’s pocket for the 15% of ministry they render!)  This is the highest percentage of ministry/total budget of them all!   Pastor, retirement, staff and education for staff = 85% of budget!  (They have 100,000 in the bank and spend more on building insurance and utilities than they do in youth ministry and all charities combined!)  (Check out page 17 – less than $5,000 is spent on outreach and education combined form a total budget of $127,000!!!!)  (This is the most giving church – they commit a whopping $45,000 from a total budget of $331,000!)  ($43,000 in ministry on a budget of $455,000!) ($10,000 in ministry and programs on a total budget of $130,000 – clergy gets almost $60,000 tax free dollars!)

50 tons of spin…..

May 17, 2008

Deacon:  Hey Usher, saw you over on the Interstate Saturday night.  What you up to?

Usher:  I was huntin’ for some extra for the 50 ton project.

Deacon:  Yes Usher – did you give?

Usher:  I did Deak, and then I heard about the surplus.  Did you know they collected $75,000 over the project goal?

Deacon:  I did.  The pastor suggested we buy another building from some poor group who couldn’t make it work

Usher:  Just what is that all about?  I heard he used the state attorney as justification to persuade everyone to vote for it and to grow the membership ranks as well. 

Deacon:  Usher, how could you?  Are you accusing the pastor of manipulating the body?

Usher:  Yep, you could say that.  What has giving food got to do with buying another building?

Deacon:  It’s furthering the body – you know – growing the kingdom

Usher:  Deak – you gotta stop all that rhetoric and tell me just why we need another building.  Every time we turn around, I’m being asked to put money up for more stuff.  Just how bloody much money does it take to satisfy the elders?

Deacon: Usher, you’re quite the disgruntled bird today….what’s really in your craw?

Usher: I thought we were out to help the poor and hungry, now we’re using the surplus to start another church – so we can dole out more money to heat the second church for an hour a week?  I’m having a hard time putting all this in perspective.

Deacon: Usher, you’ll just have to trust the pastor, after all he’s ordained and annointed……

Usher: Annointed in a bunch of controversy as I see it Deak…