Posts Tagged ‘megachurch’

Megachurch Rules!

October 19, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, this is where we are headed! 

Deacon: Ironically Usher, it’s pretty close to reality.

Usher: All you have to do is change a few of the nouns and adjectives and it all fits.

http://echurch.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Church, State & Wall Street

October 17, 2008

Usher: Deak, What do politicians, fund managers & megachurch pastors have in common?

Deacon: I don’t know Usher, but I’m sure you’re going to enlighten me…

Usher: No matter what they promise, you’ll never see your taxes, tithe or 401K money again!

Televangelists’ School of Scandal

September 9, 2008

Usher: Deak, I put this up for you. 

Deacon: Oh so nice of you Usher.  What do you do for an encore?

Usher: Stay tuned….

 

Usher Responds to Comment on “Confessions of A Faithful Tither”

September 9, 2008

Iven Garland
ivengarland@yahoo.com | 207.154.59.124

I have a major problem with people who go against the church. Let your rent be due, lights b off, and no food in the fridge the church will be the first people u call. I’ve seen megq churches give cars ,houses, rebuild homes ,and lives. ” Touch not thy annointed and do the phophet no harm”.

From True Confessions of a Faithful Tither, Kandise Lucas, PhD, 2008/09/09 at 5:11 AM

Deacon: So what do you think about Iven’s comment Usher?

Usher: First of all, he should learn to use spell checker (and grammatical checker for that matter), second of all, a little good doesn’t cover up all the abuse, misuse and manipulation of the naive.  I wouldn’t put any of these hucksters in the category of annointed!

Deacon: So you’re saying that even if they do good – they should go?

Usher: The megachurch operates like a politician.  It’s mornings are spent lobbying for causes it will never fufill, it’s days spent enjoying the good life in an attempt to rub elbows with famous people and “Oh, by the way, give the crumbs to the food pantry”.  In the meantime, they live the life of Reilly flying around the country in private jets (provided by the church) and staying in 5 star hotels at the expense of those poor people who are impoverished because they are giving to these imposters.  When was the last time a politician kept their promise?  Have you ever seen the church come to your side and bail you out of a real problem?  People who read this, please stop by and tell us how you feel – and don’t forget to copy our friend Iven.

MN Televangelist Summoned by IRS! Mac Hammond (It’s a Conspiracy!)

September 4, 2008

 Usher: Deak, This one takes the cake!  Man, this guy has big ones! 

Deacon: Don’t be rude Usher, you’re getting a little too graphical!

Usher: Let me break it to you nicely Deak.  Either this guy has redefined the defintion of “brazen” or his church congregation has redefined the Webst’er’s definition of “gullable”!

Deacon: What  did he do to get that out of you?

Usher: How about coercing his congregation to give him loans (which they forgave!), with which he bought a plane, and then leased it back to the church at a premium!  It’s like a Guinness commercial – BRILLIANT!

Then Hammond claims there are political pundits behind an audit after he welcomed it only a year earlier! 

He then endoreses a political candidate from the pulpit (against IRS rules of a 501C3 or non profit).

But really Deak, here’s how sees it: Hammond wrote in a letter to congregants that “enemies of the gospel” are behind the inquiry.

This is the quote used in an article where they throw one of the church board members under the bus (convicted for tax fraud and fleeing prosecution) and claims he had nothing to do with their business dealings:  “I think it’s important that I not be embarrassed about the increase the Lord does bring me,” Hammond said last year.

And Deak, this one takes the cake!  Here is is his defense letter which he sends out to his congregation. Here are some of the really juicy quotes:

“CREW forwarded a “stolen copy of loan application” to the IRS”

“mid-level IRS employee”

“perceived endorsement of Michele Bachman”

“our books are clean”

“Those behind the attacks we will identify, for the moment as enemies of the gospel”

“these opponents in their attempt to limit our influence must limit our growing wealth …undermine and corrupt the commitment of the donor base”  (YOU MEAN MESS WITH MY SUGAR DADDY BASE)

“those who labor in the word are worth of double honor” (1 Tim 5:17)  (DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE SCRIPTURES THAT TALK ABOUT DOUBLE JUDGMENT?)

Usher: Deak – give me your money, I’ll buy a plane, bill you back for it so I can buy the fuel and we’ll call it LABORING FOR THE GOSPEL!   BRILLIANT!

“I refuse to ever be embarrassed or apologetic for the level of God’s blessing upon my life and believe every day that MY PREACHING WILL HAVE THE SAME EFFECT ON YOUR LIFE.” 

Deak – I’ll bet if we traced his family line, it goes back to the lines of the greatest gypsy and carny clans that ever walked the face of the earth!  You gotta give him credit.  He never gets out of the role!  He obviously believes HE is the difference in these people’s lives.  He just took God out of the equation.

“…All monies that Lynne and I have ever taken…compensation, loans, airport leases…have been approved by the Board of Directors”  (Mac doesn’t seem to know that being a member of his own board makes him an insider and violates non-profit IRS code)

“The income generated by the lease….save the church the potential loss at the time of sale”

Deak – Might as well stick ‘em for the money up front.  After all, you might not be around when they have to sell the plane and this way you can save them the money you took!!!  I can’t go on – it’s all there – nothing I’ve taken is out of context.  This is either the saddest or the funniest, I cannot ascertain which. 

True Confessions of a Faithful Tither, Kandise Lucas, PhD

September 2, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, I stumbled upon this and I just cannot help sharing it.  She states it so eloquently! 

Deacon: Something got into you Usher?  You’re using suave words?  Don’t go getting civilied on us now!

Usher: What can I say, she’s a PhD – I’ve risen to the occasion just for once!

“Senator Grassley’s most recent actions have compelled me to make a confession as a mega church member. He is exposing what an increasing amount of us have known for years. These “CEO-Pastor- Reverend-Doctor’s” have been fleecing the flock for years.  For them, money does matter, in fact it is the only thing that matters.”  Read the whole post here.

“It was at that point that I realized that I was giving to make a man, his family, and his friends wealthy, not to further God’s purpose.  This realization, as devastating as it was to know that church leaders would take advantage of  generous givers in such a selfish manner, led me to rethink and restudy the concept of tithing.”  Read the whole post here.

Written by Kandise Lucas, PhD

Megachurch Finances – How Much Money?

August 31, 2008

Usher: OK Deak, here’s the first in a series of megachurch economics (I know, I’m a day late).  We’ll touch on lots of things, but here’s a little food for thought for those who attend, give and endorse (and those who don’t) these types of institutions referred to as “megachurches“.

Facts from our last post on tithing:  5% of today’s churchgoers actually tithe, the average church is 50-301 people & the average salary for a pastor of a church of this size is $72K.  At a median income of 48K (US Census 2007), All a pastor has to do is grow the congregation to 300, have 5% faithful tithers (15 salaries) and he’s making 150% more than his faithful tithers!

Let’s move to Megachurches (churches with the top 10 numbers in attendance weekly in the US).  Here are the top 10

1. Lakewood Church, Houston Texas – Joel Osteen (47,000)
2. Willow Creek Community Church, South Barrington, Ill. – Bill Hybels (23,500)
3. Second Baptist Church, Houston – Ed Young Sr. (23,198)
4. Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, Calif. – Rick Warren (22,000)
5. LifeChurch.tv, Edmond, Okla. – Craig Groeschel (19,907)
6. Southeast Christian Church, Louisville, Ky. – Dave Stone (18,013)
7. North Point Church, Alpharetta, Ga. – Andy Stanley (17,700)
8. Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Va. – Jonathan Falwell (17.445)
9. Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Fort Lauderdale, Fla. – Bob Coy (17,000)
10. The Potter’s House, Dallas – T.D. Jakes (17,000)

Let’s just take weekly and yearly income and do the numbers based on the data we used in the last study:

Top 10 Megachurches and their weekly attendance figures Attendance 5% tithe  $   48,200.00 weekly net yearly net
1. Lakewood 
47000 2350  $   48,200.00  $    2,178,269.23  $ 113,270,000.00
2. Willow Creek  23500 1175  $   48,200.00  $    1,089,134.62  $    56,635,000.00
3. Second Baptist  23198 1160  $   48,200.00  $    1,075,138.08  $    55,907,180.00
4. Saddleback  22999 1150  $   48,200.00  $    1,065,915.19  $    55,427,590.00
5. LifeChurch.tv 19907 995  $   48,200.00  $         922,612.88  $    47,975,870.00
6. Southeast  18013 901  $   48,200.00  $         834,833.27  $    43,411,330.00
7. North Point 17700 885  $   48,200.00  $         820,326.92  $    42,657,000.00
8. Thomas Road  17445 872  $   48,200.00  $         808,508.65  $    42,042,450.00
9. Calvary Chapel  17000 850  $   48,200.00  $         787,884.62  $    40,970,000.00
10. Potter’s House

17000 850  $   48,200.00  $         787,884.62  $    40,970,000.00
 $ 10,370,508.08  $ 539,266,420.00

Usher: This does not include offerings, special offerings, building fund drives, missionary giving or special giving when it comes to programs or events. Numbers on these things are nearly impossible to obtain as there are no constant criteria with which to measure.  So Deak, could you manage a church on say, 787,884.62 per week?  Other questions:

1. If you had a congregation of this size, why would you not continue to ask for money any time it is needed?

2. If you didn’t have to publish your finances, why would you? (Mr. Grassley has the same question)

3. Even independent surveys are confidential and sold to those who want them with all of the names scrubbed.  If men of God aren’t doing anything wrong, then why won’t they come out with the real numbers? (another Senator Grassley question)

4. Just how much money should a great orator pastor put in his pocket as fruits of his labor? (Kenny, Creflo, Richard, Joyce and Benny all seem to think there’s no limit to that number.)

5. Here’s a megachurch that did post its numbers and the blogger gives them kudos for posting it but that’s about all: Neo-Baptist


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