Posts Tagged ‘Lindsay Roberts’

You finish the televangelist’s statement….

September 25, 2008

Usher: Deak, what if you could be inside a modern church pastor’s brain – what would you really get to know about them?

Deacon: I sense a huge dose of sarcasm – is this going to be ugly, funny or simply “usherly”?

Usher: I’ll finish the thought – you can do it too – send me a comment…..

Creflo Dollar: Give cheerfully and know that God will give to you in direct relation to what you give to Him  …and with the proceeds, I’ll finish my new indoor pool and buy those sweet silver cupholders for my new Rolls Royce…..

Richard Roberts: Dear Lord, let the people give that the storehouses will be full…and my golf locker will have a new pair of ostrich-skin golf shoes to match my new ostrich skin head covers….

Lindsay Roberts: Lord, please help me find a scripture that justifies ……me seeing younger men because Richard won’t do anything but play golf and shop for shoes.

Kenneth Copeland: We come to give to the Lord that  the world may see that God rewards a cheerful giver …and the champagne racks in my 20 million dollar jet will be chilled and filled!

Jim Cymbala: Lord, we come to worship you today  ….with the choir that my wife built!

Joel Osteen: Lord, we pray for those airline people for a change of heart ….because my wife deserves to be treated like a celebrity.  Don’t they know who I am?

Benny Hinn: Lord, heal this person’s physical body  …..so I can get a bigger donation.  My hair transplant bill is killing me!

Usher: Send in your thoughts and comments………what is that leader really thinking?

Televangelists’ School of Scandal

September 9, 2008

Usher: Deak, I put this up for you. 

Deacon: Oh so nice of you Usher.  What do you do for an encore?

Usher: Stay tuned….

 

They Keep on Takin’ and Takin’ and Takin’ and Takin’

August 26, 2008

Usher: Deak, I like what Alan had to say in his comment on on of our previous posts

“in essence, you can beat up McChurch all you want, it’s not the techniques, it’s the people. Beat on them. Better yet, beat on the gullible fools who follow them… without a flock, there can be no pastor.”

Deacon: He’s got a point.  Even after these people are bilked, they keep coming back for more!

Usher: So Deak, what’s the difference between a televangelist and an alchemist?

Deacon: I don’t know, what?

Usher: Alchemists became obsolete when they couldn’t produce anything for their investors.  A televangelist doesn’t have to produce any results at all and their goofy followers still keep giving them money! Their followers just keep on givin’ and givin’ and givin’. 

Deacon: And the televangelists keep on takin’ and takin’ and takin’ and takin’….

UPDATE: Richard sued by accountant for “cooking the books”?

August 24, 2008

More on “King Richard’s” perils:

TULSA — Three more lawsuits rocked scandal-stricken Oral Roberts University on Wednesday, including one claiming Richard and Lindsay Roberts ordered an accountant to “cook the books” to cover up their illegal use of university money for themselves.