Posts Tagged ‘church membership’

Church Hopper (Part 3)

June 26, 2008

Deacon: Usher, how does the church survive with church hoppers?

Usher: Who says it needs to survive in the form it’s in today Deak?

Deacon: Well it has been proven for about 2000 years.

Usher: That’s up for debate, Deak.

Usher: Let’s all be real.  What is the motivation for a church to grow its membership?  Money!  It’s not furthering the kingdom.  If it were, the church wouldn’t be telling its people to give, give, give and then only offer up an occasional prayer in exchange for all their investment.

Deacon: But the church is for those who are saved, so they can grow and the church is their to disciple them.

Usher: Deak, you’re more than idealistic on that statement.  You call discipleship weak Sunday School (teachers who volunteer and are rarely taught, trained, held accountable, etc.), cushy little youth groups with watered-down curriculum or some “made-up-curriculum” from the youth pastor who’s never done a single thing in his life except go to college, get a degree (with the greatest real life application being a few week-long mission trips to a safe haven)? 

Just what if that new person visiting is a seasoned disciple, has moved into the area with a job change and is a level 8 disciple and is far more advanced in his/her knowledge of the kingdom?  He sits through a couple sermons and realizes the pastor preaches on a level of about a 2.  He leaves.  Is he a “church hopper”

Deacon: But that’s not a normal situation Usher.

Usher: Life ain’t normal, Deak.  Everyone who walks in the church is unique.  Why does the church fall into the trap of offering programs that only cater to one group of people, then preach as though everyone in the group should buy into the shallowness of it all?  People are all at different stages in their lives.  One size fits all doesn’t cut it!  Church is not about the Sunday morning service, it’s about the body life.  Yet all the money the church collects and all the effort put into raising the membership is about the show or what I call the Sunday morning demonstration: “here are our great programs, don’t miss all the announcements about our great programs” and isn’t our worship team great?  And I (the pastor) worked so hard this week to prepare this one-size-fits-all sermon “just for you”.

Church or Sunday Masquerade?

June 12, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, you go to the masquerade yesterday?

Deacon: Usher, if you’re referring to church, why yes I did. I didn’t see you, but tell me why you’re being so irreverent?

Usher: What’s reverent about the art of deception, Deak?  Where do I start? 

“Did everyone go to the picnic last Saturday?  We had a great time of fellowship!” – pastor 

Now what the pastor really means is, we like to do stuff like this because it keeps the memberships up, satisfies the goody-goodies and it keeps our mind off the tough stuff like the15 foreclusures in the church which we couldn’t do a thing about (not to mention we got to make up the tithe, where I don’t know).  It helps me forget about the high number of parishoners who have alcohol addiction and the three teens that were arrested for drug distribution. 

“Please come by and welcome our new youth pastor, Billy with a special dinner in the fellowship hall” – pastor

I hope I got the best kid for the job.  These parents are brutal, they want everything for nothing in this place.  Maybe he will strike a better chord because quite frankly, I cannot relate to such rich lazy kids who’ve never missed a meal, carried out a chore or actually done anything but take money from their parents and shop colleges setting up their pedigreed life. 

Deacon: So what do you want the pastor to do instead?

Usher: How about talkin’ about the real stuff – then all the goody goodies will go home and never come back and the real christians (if there are any) will be the only ones left.  They say the 80/20 rule applies to churches, why not get rid of the 80 and work with the 20?  Think how far you can go only working with true disciples.

Deacon: What kind of roadkill did you eat last night?