Posts Tagged ‘building fund’

Deacon & Usher T-Shirts Cont’d

July 29, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, you have fun answerin’ all the emails about the shirts?

Deacon: Not really Usher, you’re not making any friends

Usher: Friends?  Show me a buzzard with more than one friend and I’ll show you a hungry buzzard!

The Three Perpetual States to Church Growth

The Three Perpetual States to Church Growth

 

Who Should Pay Whom?

Who Should Pay Whom?

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Traditional Title of Pastor or Real Titles?

July 6, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, what if pastors were called by their real duties instead of some pastor of the church?  Who would your pastor be?

Deacon: I don’t know, shepherd?

Usher – Here are a few that come to mind:

Chief guilt officer, Chief alter caller, Chief wine and bread steward, Chief Membership Pusher, Chief Building Fund Persuader, Chief Marketing Officer, Chief Delegator, Chief Manipulator, Chief divorce counselor, Chief curriculum chooser, Chief Finanacial Officer, Chief Idealist (keep the member) officer

Deacon: You better watch it Usher, you’re steppin’ on toes

Church Hopper (Part 3)

June 26, 2008

Deacon: Usher, how does the church survive with church hoppers?

Usher: Who says it needs to survive in the form it’s in today Deak?

Deacon: Well it has been proven for about 2000 years.

Usher: That’s up for debate, Deak.

Usher: Let’s all be real.  What is the motivation for a church to grow its membership?  Money!  It’s not furthering the kingdom.  If it were, the church wouldn’t be telling its people to give, give, give and then only offer up an occasional prayer in exchange for all their investment.

Deacon: But the church is for those who are saved, so they can grow and the church is their to disciple them.

Usher: Deak, you’re more than idealistic on that statement.  You call discipleship weak Sunday School (teachers who volunteer and are rarely taught, trained, held accountable, etc.), cushy little youth groups with watered-down curriculum or some “made-up-curriculum” from the youth pastor who’s never done a single thing in his life except go to college, get a degree (with the greatest real life application being a few week-long mission trips to a safe haven)? 

Just what if that new person visiting is a seasoned disciple, has moved into the area with a job change and is a level 8 disciple and is far more advanced in his/her knowledge of the kingdom?  He sits through a couple sermons and realizes the pastor preaches on a level of about a 2.  He leaves.  Is he a “church hopper”

Deacon: But that’s not a normal situation Usher.

Usher: Life ain’t normal, Deak.  Everyone who walks in the church is unique.  Why does the church fall into the trap of offering programs that only cater to one group of people, then preach as though everyone in the group should buy into the shallowness of it all?  People are all at different stages in their lives.  One size fits all doesn’t cut it!  Church is not about the Sunday morning service, it’s about the body life.  Yet all the money the church collects and all the effort put into raising the membership is about the show or what I call the Sunday morning demonstration: “here are our great programs, don’t miss all the announcements about our great programs” and isn’t our worship team great?  And I (the pastor) worked so hard this week to prepare this one-size-fits-all sermon “just for you”.

Church Membership

May 24, 2008

Usher:  Hey Deak – why do we have memberships in the church?

Deacon:  So you can vote and be a part of something God is building

Usher:  You mean something the pastor is building, like a secure living?

Deacon: You sound bitter, Usher.  God is in control Usher – you give to God, you are a member of the body of Christ

Usher: Not as I see it Deak- Membership Obligations: Give, Give, Give  Membership Benefits: Give, Give, Give (occasional prayer if you ask for it)