Posts Tagged ‘Benny Hinn’

You finish the televangelist’s statement….

September 25, 2008

Usher: Deak, what if you could be inside a modern church pastor’s brain – what would you really get to know about them?

Deacon: I sense a huge dose of sarcasm – is this going to be ugly, funny or simply “usherly”?

Usher: I’ll finish the thought – you can do it too – send me a comment…..

Creflo Dollar: Give cheerfully and know that God will give to you in direct relation to what you give to Him  …and with the proceeds, I’ll finish my new indoor pool and buy those sweet silver cupholders for my new Rolls Royce…..

Richard Roberts: Dear Lord, let the people give that the storehouses will be full…and my golf locker will have a new pair of ostrich-skin golf shoes to match my new ostrich skin head covers….

Lindsay Roberts: Lord, please help me find a scripture that justifies ……me seeing younger men because Richard won’t do anything but play golf and shop for shoes.

Kenneth Copeland: We come to give to the Lord that  the world may see that God rewards a cheerful giver …and the champagne racks in my 20 million dollar jet will be chilled and filled!

Jim Cymbala: Lord, we come to worship you today  ….with the choir that my wife built!

Joel Osteen: Lord, we pray for those airline people for a change of heart ….because my wife deserves to be treated like a celebrity.  Don’t they know who I am?

Benny Hinn: Lord, heal this person’s physical body  …..so I can get a bigger donation.  My hair transplant bill is killing me!

Usher: Send in your thoughts and comments………what is that leader really thinking?

“Tear Down & Destroy”

September 19, 2008

Deacon: Usher, I got a call, a very threatening one I might add, claiming that you are seeking simply to “tear down and destroy” the church.  No church is perfect, so why do you go to such ends to derail an imperfect vessel?

Usher: Everything is imperfect Deak, so are you saying one shouldn’t speak out against anything because it’s all imperfect?

Deacon: Be reasonable Usher.  You are attacking people and their attempt to obey the word and follow God in the best way they know how.

Usher: So if they are being led about by those who are simply out for your money to pay for their exravagant lifestyles (as in Creflo admitted he lives an extravagant lifestyle but see no wrong in it), we should just let them keep on giving while their houses are foreclosed on and they end up being a ward of the state and its social system?  Tell me what scriptures ratify that type of thinking?

Deacon: But people don’t see it as an attack on the church, they take it personal.

Usher: If the shoe fits, wear it.  If you’re the pastor taking their money, then fess up and stop! If you’re the sheep funding their preposterous and often lascivious lifestyle, then you fess up and stop!  Both parties are wrong, the system is wrong and so let it be challenged.  And about your “best way they know how”, here’s my response – “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”.

The Brand of “Jesus”

September 12, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, don’t you pity the poor souls who buy into the rhetoric of the mainstream church? Especially the young ones who call themselves “church planters” who work for big old institutions.

Deacon: Kinda. But not really.  They’re too young to know any better and they don’t seem to want to do the due diligence it takes to find out that the organization they’re in is simply marketing the institution, not making disciples. 

Usher: It really is just like America and the whole American Dream.  It’s just that they’re using the brand of “Jesus” instead of Coca Cola or Pepsi or Marlboro.

Deacon: And interestingly enough, they see no wrong in it.  They seem to think that “marketing” is making disciples.  But in reality, it’s so different. 

Usher: They’re no better than “Carney Barkers” selling tickets to see the 2-headed, 5-arm lady.  Except in this case, the 2-headed lady is Benny Hinn, Richard Roberts, Kenny Copeland, Rick Warren…

Deacon: Usher, stop. You’re overdoing it man!  You gotta stop blasting the televangelists!  They need to eat their caviar, take their vacations and put fuel in their private jets too!

The Institution Must Be Challenged! It’s Been Hijacked!

September 11, 2008

Usher: Deak, it’d be so much easier if everyone wasn’t so quick to endorse the institution right out of the gate.  It’s apparent that the reputation and validity of the institution has to be challenged.

Deacon: At what cost, Usher? 

Usher: At any cost.  Man was the one that came up with the goofy model back in Constantine’s time and it’s foundation is wide and vast.  How is it that it hasn’t been questioned vehemently until today?

Deacon: Yet, the foundation is being shaken. By generations that seem to be more and more willing to speak out against it, due to the egregious acts against society the church has committed (Catholic church pedofiles and gambling priests, Televanglists, crooked Christian entertainers).

Usher: Don’t forget Deak, the only ones that are willing to speak up are those who have nothing to lose!

Deacon: You’ve got plenty of friends that fit into that category Usher.

Usher: That’s a little low…..

Televangelists’ School of Scandal

September 9, 2008

Usher: Deak, I put this up for you. 

Deacon: Oh so nice of you Usher.  What do you do for an encore?

Usher: Stay tuned….

 

True Confessions of a Faithful Tither, Kandise Lucas, PhD

September 2, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, I stumbled upon this and I just cannot help sharing it.  She states it so eloquently! 

Deacon: Something got into you Usher?  You’re using suave words?  Don’t go getting civilied on us now!

Usher: What can I say, she’s a PhD – I’ve risen to the occasion just for once!

“Senator Grassley’s most recent actions have compelled me to make a confession as a mega church member. He is exposing what an increasing amount of us have known for years. These “CEO-Pastor- Reverend-Doctor’s” have been fleecing the flock for years.  For them, money does matter, in fact it is the only thing that matters.”  Read the whole post here.

“It was at that point that I realized that I was giving to make a man, his family, and his friends wealthy, not to further God’s purpose.  This realization, as devastating as it was to know that church leaders would take advantage of  generous givers in such a selfish manner, led me to rethink and restudy the concept of tithing.”  Read the whole post here.

Written by Kandise Lucas, PhD


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