Usher: Hey Deak, did you get your new Saddleback One Card?
Deacon: What on earth are you talking about?
Usher: It’s a new promotion by Warren’s church. You can now get points based on how much you tithe, how many sermons you buy from their store and for regular attendance!
Deacon: You can’t be serious. What on earth would you use points in church for?
Usher: Are you kidding me Deak? I can get free schmultsy Christian CDs based on how much tithe I give. No one will ever know. I just swipe my card at those cool ATM (automatic tithing machines) in the foyer and it’ll secretly record my points and send me a statement. Grand prize is box seats right up front so I can see Rick and his team, possibly get his autograph and if I can accrue 10,000 bonus points, I can have lunch with him!
Deacon: You’ve got to be off your perch there Usher.
Usher: I’m opting for a picture of Rick on my card, during his invocation with Barack Obama…..I fell blessed.
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