Modern Day Suburban Hymn

Usher: Hey Deak, I stumbled upon this brilliant site that critiques not-so-Godly hymns – I knew there was something that bothered me about some of those old things, and all the time, I jus thought it was the dated music….

Deacon: Irreverence doesn’t really bother you, does it Usher?

Usher: Not really, so I wrote one of my own hymns that fits a church I know…

Oh God rain down more points for my visa
So I can compete with my neighbor Lisa
Just think how great my witness will be
When the heathen are impressed by your gifts for me

Our witness to be seen at the grandest of shows
When we’re adorned with sequens, crosses and bows
The mayor, the judge and the priests will all see
How Christlike we are in our prosperity

We’ll dine with the stars because they surely need you
We’ll say grace with the famous and toast at the ‘fest
We can witness to the finest of celebrity fame
Oh God give us more and more and more in your name


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One Response to “Modern Day Suburban Hymn”

  1. Mike Says:

    This is a great hymn. It is for our times. Maybe we can even get out our credit cards and wave them as a “wave offering”.

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