Church or Sunday Masquerade?

Usher: Hey Deak, you go to the masquerade yesterday?

Deacon: Usher, if you’re referring to church, why yes I did. I didn’t see you, but tell me why you’re being so irreverent?

Usher: What’s reverent about the art of deception, Deak?  Where do I start? 

“Did everyone go to the picnic last Saturday?  We had a great time of fellowship!” – pastor 

Now what the pastor really means is, we like to do stuff like this because it keeps the memberships up, satisfies the goody-goodies and it keeps our mind off the tough stuff like the15 foreclusures in the church which we couldn’t do a thing about (not to mention we got to make up the tithe, where I don’t know).  It helps me forget about the high number of parishoners who have alcohol addiction and the three teens that were arrested for drug distribution. 

“Please come by and welcome our new youth pastor, Billy with a special dinner in the fellowship hall” – pastor

I hope I got the best kid for the job.  These parents are brutal, they want everything for nothing in this place.  Maybe he will strike a better chord because quite frankly, I cannot relate to such rich lazy kids who’ve never missed a meal, carried out a chore or actually done anything but take money from their parents and shop colleges setting up their pedigreed life. 

Deacon: So what do you want the pastor to do instead?

Usher: How about talkin’ about the real stuff – then all the goody goodies will go home and never come back and the real christians (if there are any) will be the only ones left.  They say the 80/20 rule applies to churches, why not get rid of the 80 and work with the 20?  Think how far you can go only working with true disciples.

Deacon: What kind of roadkill did you eat last night?


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5 Responses to “Church or Sunday Masquerade?”

  1. Mark Says:

    On target again. Most of the time church services are more of a masquerade than than actual parties where masks are worn.

  2. Aric Says:

    Who is this? Who’s JZ? I think you might go to the church I do!

  3. Deacon Says:

    This is Deacon & Usher

  4. JohnD Says:

    Appreciate the blog, by the way! Sounds like your church is a real “zoo.” If that’s the case, do you go somewhere else to feed your soul?

    Just curious.

  5. Deacon Says:

    You could say that. And yes, I hang outside of church to get fed. Buzzards aren’t allowed inside anyway – we might make things difficult – we aren’t pretty, we don’t have any Sunday best to wear and we can’t help circling the roadkill which can be quite populous in today’s churches;)

    Deacon & Usher

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