Posts Tagged ‘Sunday School’

Why Do We Go To Church, Daddy?

January 3, 2010

Usher: Hey Deak,

My buddy Short Beak stopped by my branch the other day and asked me how to answer his kid’s question – “Why do we go to church, Daddy? I thought Jesus was fun and cool, but church really sucks! I can’t stay awake for longer than 5 minutes through those windy sermons and Sunday School is full of Geritol and brown-nosers.”

Deacon: So what did you tell him?

Usher:  I told him it was his problem.  After all, he’s fallen for it all his life, and now he’s at the point of no return.  No matter what he tells his kid, his kid will see him as a hypocrite because he still goes and doesn’t feel he can change as it’s too late in life and after all, the fellowship hour has really good desserts!

Deacon:  Usher, you’re so so lame!

Is Christianity a “credence good”?

February 13, 2009

Usher: Deak, I was studying how the humans do church and credence good came up in my Wiki search…

Deacon: That’s pushing the envelope just a little, don’t you think?

Usher: I don’t think so – after all, people take the advice every week on what they should do, then they trust the guy giving the advice, pay him huge amounts of money (as he instructs them) and according to the definition, they have no way of knowing if what they do has any affect…

Isn’t it sweet when you can provide a “service” to people who have no way to measure it’s effectiveness?

Deacon: But people don’t consider church a service, do they?

Usher: I don’t know what to call it other than a service.  They bring their kids in for “servicing” in nursery and Sunday School, they call the weekly meeting a “service”, and then they call their members to “serve” for free….What a cool racket…I think we should have a service every time we find roadkill and then we could charge admission to have access to what is actually free….We could get rich and everyone would simply keep coming back and paying us for a good that is “assumed” as opposed to being real…

Mommy, can we go to Sunday School?

January 27, 2009

Usher: Deak, in reference to an earlier post   Blind Faith     take a look at these:

A 44-year-old married father of six who teaches Sunday school at a Corona church is facing criminal charges for allegedly molesting a 12-year-old girl in 2003.

Prosecutors say John Calvin Savage taught the girl in Sunday school at Grace Baptist Church, and touched her inappropriately when she visited his Ontario home to perform chores.  read more…

Sunday school teacher accused of molesting children pleads guilty

August 21st, 2008, 7:58 pm · 3 Comments · posted by Eddi Trevizo

A Sunday school teacher who sexually molested two young girls at a Chandler church, pled guilty to several charges against him Thursday.  read more…

Terrell teacher accused of abusing additional students

 12:00 AM CDT on Thursday, June 19, 2008

 By STEVE THOMPSON / The Dallas Morning News
sthompson@dallasnews.com

 TERRELL – A popular third-grade teacher at J.W. Long Elementary School has been accused of sexually assaulting three of his students, and police say they have reason to believe he has assaulted others.

Salvador Mata, 51, was arrested Sunday on one count of sexual assault of a child and held in the Kaufman County Jail. Officials announced two more counts Wednesday, setting his bail at $750,000.

“We have information that leads us to believe there are additional victims, possibly from other years,” said Terrell police Chief Todd A. Miller, asking parents with any suspicions to step forward. “This investigation is by no means over.”

Mr. Mata was teaching English as a second language at the school and has worked at the district since 2000, school officials say. He has also taught Sunday school at First Baptist Church of Terrell.  read more…

Deacon: Why is it so widespread?  Do people really not get it? What are pastors thinking?

Usher: Pastors are often lack in these areas.  After all, priority is not Sunday School.  Sunday School is a program to attract new members, and babysit kids while they collect the tithe from the naive.

Deacon: Don’t these people know that the Sunday School is one of the most powerful tools in that nearly 66% of all choose Christ before they’re teenagers?  See statistics here…

Usher: You’d think they’d have figured that out by now…But then again, pastors are more concerned with appeasing the adults in exchange for their livelihood than they are in winning souls….if this isn’t proof, then I don’t know what is!

Blind Faith or Faithful Blindness?

December 10, 2008

Usher: Hey Deak, do the people really  know who is teaching their children in Sunday School?

Deacon:  They assume a devoted christian I’m sure.

Usher: How can they be so sure Deak?  No inquiries?  No checking the curriculum?  Rarely do they even talk to the teacher.  They simply pick up their kids and thank the teacher for whatever they did, good or bad. 

Deacon: They’re sure the pastor has it all under control.

Usher:  A case of blind faith or faithful blindness?

Deacon & Usher T-Shirts

July 27, 2008

Usher; Hey Deak, I’ve been puttin’ some of our stuff on shirts.

Deacon: Yeah, like what?

Usher: Here’s a  few:

Christ not church

Christ not church

 

Where your tithe really goes!

Where your tithe really goes!

 

 

Pastor or Christ

Pastor or Christ

Deacon: You’re gonna take some heat from those Usher, but you know that.
Usher: Hey Deak, hot is my middle name – hot roadkill, hot asphalt, so what’s new?

Church Hopper (Part 3)

June 26, 2008

Deacon: Usher, how does the church survive with church hoppers?

Usher: Who says it needs to survive in the form it’s in today Deak?

Deacon: Well it has been proven for about 2000 years.

Usher: That’s up for debate, Deak.

Usher: Let’s all be real.  What is the motivation for a church to grow its membership?  Money!  It’s not furthering the kingdom.  If it were, the church wouldn’t be telling its people to give, give, give and then only offer up an occasional prayer in exchange for all their investment.

Deacon: But the church is for those who are saved, so they can grow and the church is their to disciple them.

Usher: Deak, you’re more than idealistic on that statement.  You call discipleship weak Sunday School (teachers who volunteer and are rarely taught, trained, held accountable, etc.), cushy little youth groups with watered-down curriculum or some “made-up-curriculum” from the youth pastor who’s never done a single thing in his life except go to college, get a degree (with the greatest real life application being a few week-long mission trips to a safe haven)? 

Just what if that new person visiting is a seasoned disciple, has moved into the area with a job change and is a level 8 disciple and is far more advanced in his/her knowledge of the kingdom?  He sits through a couple sermons and realizes the pastor preaches on a level of about a 2.  He leaves.  Is he a “church hopper”

Deacon: But that’s not a normal situation Usher.

Usher: Life ain’t normal, Deak.  Everyone who walks in the church is unique.  Why does the church fall into the trap of offering programs that only cater to one group of people, then preach as though everyone in the group should buy into the shallowness of it all?  People are all at different stages in their lives.  One size fits all doesn’t cut it!  Church is not about the Sunday morning service, it’s about the body life.  Yet all the money the church collects and all the effort put into raising the membership is about the show or what I call the Sunday morning demonstration: “here are our great programs, don’t miss all the announcements about our great programs” and isn’t our worship team great?  And I (the pastor) worked so hard this week to prepare this one-size-fits-all sermon “just for you”.

Church Hopping (Part 2)

June 19, 2008

Deacon: What’s the church’s role in “church hopper”?

Usher: First of all Deak, church hopping to shop for the best programs and all is just plain wrong.  To shop a church for all the goodies makes my craw rumble.

Second, lots of churches don’t ever look at themselves in the mirror.  They put the label of “church-hopper” on anyone who doesn’t find their church to be the right place.  Shame on them.

For these types of people who are truly looking for a real church, I have a lot of mercy.  They are often the ones that no one seems to notice when they drop in.  They’re not pretty, they don’t have pretty little kids and maybe they just don’t fit into the mainstream of the church. 

Churches battle this by “training” their A-personality types to seek out the new people (usually with help from the greeters or making these types the greeters) and then they’re all over them like a Radio Shack salesman.  Doing what, why pushing their programs of course!  Ugh!  Let me get this straight – churches want authentic people, yet they push their programs all over them to get them to stay and then they condemn them because they find the church not to their liking?


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